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Do it for you then because I am exactly where I need to be and have never been happier. Nothing wrong with prayer, I pray when I want to speak and meditate when I need to listen but I'm not in need of it. Like I mentioned before, you are still in the believe stage, I have moved on to the know stage and it's invigorating and enlightening to no longer feel judged, or fearful of something I was never meant to fear . Evilness has tricked you but you will come to understand one day. Hopefully it won't be through trauma which is where spirituallity typically reveals itself and shows us who we really areto late
Namaste